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October Lullaby

The clock has strikes past twelve, but I'm still wide awake. I ate(heavy meal-dinner, treat, farewell party) for three times in a row, and the last time I finished eating was at 12.30, so the idea of going bed directly wasn't a brilliant idea. 

Thinking of date, I'm feeling a bit exuberant to know that October is going to sail away. *sigh*. During these few weeks, I was cracking and got lost from radar. I looked so pathetic and lethargic yet I tried pushing myself to embrace the positiveness. I tried, at least. But I just can't help myself. 
//October in Retrospective.//
As I'm cocksure people know where I'm studying right now, so must they know the struggles and tribulations I'm dealing in everyday life( I'm not saying all the people (whose boats are the same with me) facing the same problems, it is just the prologue of my own story). Long-distance familyship, the studies, the weather, all the issues are totally novel for me. After for exactly six mont…
Recent posts

Time for Reflection

Hi and Assalamualaikum wbt. 
As someone who is not-so-naturally calm and quite (I talk nonsense pretty much sometimes) and rather subdued temperament, I would be bluffing if I said I dont feel furious when reading news concerning Malaysia. However, I view  something that recently happened in Malaysia as such a *blessing and calamity* respectively. How at first, to our own dismay, we heard about the pre-dawn horrific fire at the religious boarding school on Thursday that resulted almost twenty-one students and two teachers died in the blaze after the fire blocked the only exit from the dormitory. To reveal the culprits, seven were arrested in connection with the school fire and the biggest shocker was that they were all who range in age from 11 to 18 and were "school leavers and dropouts." At first,  public believed it was caused by some disservice act due to the dissension from some ah long (correct me if I'm wrong),  but the assumption went astray - the seven suspects …


"How I wish to possess their pretty sunflower eyes, their coy innocent faces." . Saying that I never pretended to be someone else is really a great shenanigans. I guess we all do this at the same point, glad I'm not the only one. I guess so.  But why do we do it? Is is because of fear? Yeah, fear. Fear that people won't accept us for who we are. That they'll hurt us when they know our own vulnerabilities. *let out sarcastic laugh* 
Mom once told me that I am too much seeking for perfection and that I might feel pique if something isn't working on its lane. You know what, I'm not enjoying this, not even every minute of it. I knew that was a mistake, the biggest one. I was too afraid of the judgmental things and most of the times I wish to never exist in this world. It is clear that I can't accept if someone is making fun of me. You know what I mean: People making prank of every one else limits, prancing around thinking they're better just because th…

My Mom Once a Daughter Too.

I was just having deep thought session about my late grandmother. I mean, I miss her. Too much and I can't put it into words. Feels like I'm homesick for a person that is no longer exist in this world. Tears are the only best way to speak up what my heart felt(al-Fatihah). Soon enough, I think of my mom. In this liken situation, she is the one who hurts most. Flashback to the time of my grandmother's funeral, I don't really have chance to witness my mom crying a river or mourning the loss while I can't stop from bawling my eyes out for days. I feel so lost and lonely, I have no more friend to count on to. I suffered from a great loss, and I can't get over it ,and to higlight the point that I will be sitting for SPM during that year, that what makes me lose balance even more. Thank God , this kind of grief didn't absorb me for a longer period and I heal myself better upon reading to my friend's message reminding me about death- the reality of Qada' …

My Raya in Oversea

Peace be upon to you all my readers. Still feeling the raya vibe? How fast time flies, we're now entering  Syawal 7th. Have you done completing your puasa 6? If not, hurry up or you will end up being so busy tackling down with your business and dealing with time, and for girls, just you know kehkehkeh.   May Allah grant us colossal amount of strength and a capable time to do so.
It is only 3 months since I came to Egypt, but I am longing to my country like it has  been years I am here. At first, I don't really feel jumpy and nervouse  as I am doing pretty well, yeah I mean I have lots of friends here, all the seniors are so amicable, but as time approaching Ramadan, the oikotropic mood started to fluctuate. I even waggished my friends saying that I want to fly back to Malaysia for a while just to have suhoor and breakfasting with my family. Hahaha. I turned to get envious ((secretly)) to my siblings and my Malaysian friends, but thank God, I could endure this kind of dispirit…

Ramadan: How do we act?

Praises be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, in which we are still alive in this dunya, blissfully with iman and islam and that we are still given a chance to meet Ramadan Mubarak. 

How's your fasting month been doing? Anyway, I bid you a warm Ramadan Kareem(it is still not too late) and may Allah forgive each of us thus pleased to accept our deeds. 
Recently, we Malaysians have been flabbergasted by an uproar that taken place in one pandemonium defence university. The news spread like wildfire, pointing at bullying and ragging case. Sources said that the victim was brutally tortured (using belt, cloth hanger, pipe and iron steam) and ended up being murdered by 36 delinquents. This tragic action has opened up people eyes, either symphatizing the victim or anathematizing the murderer. 
Fret not, I'm not going to act as a commentator upon this case. I don't mind to pour fuel to the burning flame, not even. In fact, I greatl…

Egypt and how I ended up being here.

Time flying too fast and these past few months was super exceedingly hectic for me(or maybe that was my fault for not sane enough to utilize my life time). Never mind,  I'm not going to bleat about how incompetent me  was throughout the time. 
For not dawdling my writing-presence here,  I will just pick up directly from the title. To be very extremely frank, studying in Middle East(read: Egypt) was not my first choice, nor my childhood dream. Sceptical, wasn't it? It took me for only one full month to think straightly before I filled in the online application form and another one or half month left to settle up all the documents needed(after receiving the answer of the application) to be sent to the ministry office. Fret not, this is not what I'm going to chunter for forsooth. 
I reckon myself lucky enough for eagerly and insistedly on deciding to pursue my bachelor there, and I consider this is the answer for all my parent's prayers- to let me be in the right…