Honest Cowboy

Just like a cowboy, it takes one to know one. 

We kept telling the folks whatever they wanted to hear. We made it all seem unscathed, as though it could pass for love, and somehow we're just pretentious actors. We always had some tricks up our sleeves.

I once placed such a deep faith in the art of conversation. But over time, the line between us keeps breaking up, no longer functioning as I had once hoped. We struggle to find the right words to reach one another. Our words kept finding their way into voicemail, and neither of us has really taken the time, to listen to the voices left unspoken. 

There is something rather peculiar about sharing the same space with someone, yet feeling as though an entire universe stands between you. And that's what led me to believe that our hearts have wandered further than our bodies ever could. Finding our way back has become increasingly difficult because the code to understanding one another keeps changing.

I find myself wondering whether I have failed to meet your standards, or whether we have simply forgotten how to understand each other. You were once such a precious part of my world, but now there are moments where I wonder where this road is taking me. Time is a mystical thing, I must admit. I suppose I, too, must make an exception. I know it is rather foolish of me to romanticise such feelings. But I am a sensible person, after all, and I ought to know my own heart better than anyone.

You're a cowboy, just like me too. Wanderers of love. Searching for the real definition of home.

Someday when you find this writing, I hope you realise just how much our choices have affected our lives. But perhaps time will be kind enough to teach us forgiveness, so we can finally let go and let God. May we finally ne able to lay down all the little things we have held against each other, one by one, until there is finally room for us to build a warm place of our own, where we can grow old together in complete honesty.

No more pretending, no more risky performances for the folks, just two cowboys, learning how to come home. 

P/s: Written while listening Taylor Swift's Cowboy Like Me on repeat.